Toxic Positivity
Toxic negativity?. . . let’s talk toxic positivity.
We often categorize negativity as something that’s toxic, but rarely do we acknowledge the existence of toxic positivity. This is a term I recently became familiar with when I came across a post on instagram that focused on defining toxic positivity. I was interested because it seems odd that positivity, something praised by the culture and defined often as “the key to well-being and happiness,” could also be toxic. I felt deceived by a world that only served positivity as perfection and promoted it to be a necessity for a happy life.
Toxic positivity, according to The Psychology Group out of Fort Lauderdale, Florida, is “the excessive and ineffective overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state across all situations. The process of toxic positivity results in the denial, minimization, and invalidation of the authentic human emotional experience.” The last sentence is the key to understanding that positivity itself is not toxic, but the misuse of positivity as a mechanism to ignore other emotions can result in toxicity and other negative side effects.
After hearing phrases like, “positive vibes only", “if you’re more positive you will be happy", and “stay positive,” it becomes hard to not feel guilty when acknowledging other emotions that aren’t categorized as positive. Although these phrases are often said with good intentions, they can distract us from the reality of other feelings and emotions besides positivity.
Yes, we all want to “radiate positivity” and live in a world with no conflict while singing and holding hands around a campfire (in this world #rona doesn’t exist). However, we know that life has ups and downs and emotions inevitably will come and sometimes try to rob us of our positivity.
Let’s normalize acknowledging ALL of our emotions. Sometimes it’s easy to believe you’re the only one not on the “positivity train” spreading good vibes, but you are not obligated by anyone or thing to live in positivity 24/7 for the rest of your life. You are responsible for taking care of you, whatever that may look like.
Don’t write off positivity, but instead make sure you don’t let the goal of being a positive light in this world (that definitely needs it), distract you from all of your feelings and emotions. Tracy Kennedy, Lifehack's Personal Development Expert offers some advice and encourages us to think about #realvibesonly and provide a space for all of your emotions. She also offers practical advice for preventing toxic positivity in your life and how to love others with #realvibesonly.
What now. . .?
Acknowledge and validate your feelings
Have empathy and compassion for yourself
Know it’s okay to be vulnerable (be aware of who you “vent” to)
Don’t let the world tell you how to feel (concerning global, local, or personal issues)
Know you’re not alone
Healthily handle negative feelings
Keep it real with yourself and others
xoxo
(We are not Professionals, Doctors, or Therapists but the information is gathered from sources available through hyperlinks and this blog was made with love and good intentions.)